Getting to Know ADHD
ADHD PART 1
Episode 019
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TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] I'm Crystal, the talking head, founder, and creator of myLifeplanners.ca. Well, this is the first in a series dedicated to ADHD. My intention is to not only learn and share insight into planning strategies and tools for those with ADHD, but along the way for everyone to learn more about the diversity of what we call the human condition.
In fact, the more we learn to understand others, the more we can ensure, regardless of the situation. That all people matter and belong in our imperfect world. We recorded our session sitting at our kitchen table a couple of weeks ago. So, you may notice my voice isn't quite the same as the upcoming recording as I've been working through a chest infection, all that.
So, without further ado, anticipate your heart to jump along with Liz's Energizer Bunny Energy. [00:01:00] Hi, I'm really excited to talk about a topic that has actually been intriguing me ever since I developed myLife Planners and the tools associated with it. I'm sitting here with my friend Liz Tizzard and I'm going to ask her to introduce herself.
Hi everybody! So first and foremost, I'm super happy to be here. Thank you, Crystal, for having me. So, my name is Liz Tizard. In a nutshell, I would say I'm a wandering world traveler. I've been to over 46 countries. As long as I'm beating my age in countries, I'm happy. I'm wife to one handy, handy of a man raising two next gen boys to turn into men as well as online influencer in the space of overall mental, emotional, and physical wellness.
I have That's it. There you go. I was like, I could go on
forever. I'll just stop. Great intro. Well done. So, my story about how I met Liz and I, you're going to have to clear this up with me. When we first [00:02:00] met, it was at the uppercase studio. So, we both have a mutual connection, of Janine Vangool of Uppercase Magazine.
She, at the time, had a studio in the Devonshire downtown, and she was one of my, as a designer, I keep saying I was a stalker of hers, a career stalker, because she's a role model in so many ways. We became friends, and at the time, I think she was actually hosting kind of like a pop-up trade show crafting thing, and I was there with my planners.
I'm sitting there, it's near the end of the day, we're about to wrap up, and then in, like, I don't know, like, I almost want to, ah, you know that character on the little, the guy who twirls around, like, the Bugs Bunny character? Huh, Digger? No, no. Oh, the Tasmanian! The Tasmanian Devil! That is how I showed up that day.
That is exactly how you showed up. You had a bike helmet in one, a bag in another, and you're like, oh my god, Crystal, I was so excited! You and I was like a deer in headlights and [00:03:00] it's going, okay. Right. Nice to meet you. Like, why are you so excited to meet me? And, and as soon as you walked into a room, like the energy in the space, just like it sparkles, I think like, it's, it's just, you just amp up, you experience it.
energy and just everything about you. So that was my first experience. And from what, as I've gotten to know you since then, and I, I want to
say it's been about 10 years. Yeah. We've been in this house now for almost eight. So, I bet you, we met like seven and a half years ago. It was pretty quick after us moving downtown.
Perfect. So, basically, as I got to know you, this is actually pre your adult ADHD diagnosis.
Absolutely. Yeah. So, for me to see this is a crazy woman, and I don't mean to be derogatory in that way. No, but I would have been, I would have been 35. So, if we think about that, we don't typically see [00:04:00] 35-year-old women.
Bounding around somewhere between Tigger and Tasmanian Devil in life. Like, we don't, right? You're very energetic as a human. But not bursting into a room, especially Janine, if you're listening. We adore you, but Janine has this very steady energy. Yes. And very quiet energy, very introverted. And so, let alone this idea of like, oh, your friend Liz is coming, and then I show up in this like, pendulum swim of a polar opposite.
Yeah, we just, we don't see. bounding, boisterous, energetic, unapologetic women that often. Exactly. Especially in adulthood. So, and the reason that I'm diving into this topic is because Liz actually was one of my first customers of myLife Planners and she was really keen to learn about them and use them.
And she provided me a whole lot of insights. And if you can kind of fill us in on your story on how you queued in to get diagnosed.
Yeah. So, I won't go too [00:05:00] deep into it just because it involves my son and he is 13 and a half now. So we all know teenagers. But I had had two friends in my life that I met that were almost identical to me.
And both of them kind of paused and were like, hmm, do you think maybe you have ADHD too? And I was like, what's ADHD? And then, so to clarify, your son was diagnosed with ADHD. This was before my son. Oh, before your son. Yeah. So, they would say that to me and they're like, Oh, why don't you go get looked?
And we had, we had been told for our son when he was in grade three, that he lacked focus. And for those of you that have ADHD or that a kid who has been diagnosed with ADHD or your partner, you know what that means. Well, for somebody who at the time thought she was neurotypical, didn't even have that language, let's say.
But focus to me was very confusing because he sat and did Lego for, you know, an hour on end. Now I know that is hyper focus. Anyway, fast forward about a year later my son's in the middle of a mental health crash. Bullying was at play, COVID was at play, a lot of big [00:06:00] factors that led to his dysregulation, once again, a word that I didn't know even three years ago led us into a space where we were trying to figure out what's going on.
That led us into an ADHD diagnosis for him. And then at the time I had said to his doctor, who is now back in the city, working, specializing in ADHD and supporting ADHD families. I had said to her like, hey, do you mind if I ask you a few questions afterwards in regards to me after one of his appointments, and he exited the room and she just looked at me and smiled.
And I said, Hi, and she goes and she just shook her head. Yes. I forget we're on the podcast. You should just see that I was like what and she's like, yes. Yes, Liz There's like we can backtrack because typically with a late diagnosis for adults Yeah, they backtrack to be sure right all the way back to childhood.
So, did you start struggling in school? What did it look for like for your grades? Was there a lack of impulse control? What? because a lot of people with impulse control, it [00:07:00] goes down the wrong path. So, it goes into addictions. Whereas my impulse, went into traveling and shopping and well shopping is recently I love fashion, but it went into traveling And I started to go see the world and that became how I managed what I didn't know was ADHD So what
you're saying is by then the doctor knew right away absolutely because she saw the all the effects of not being diagnosed now.
And, and everything from high energy to that deep hyper focus with helping support my son. Right. In his diagnosis to my lack of organization, my lack of ability to answer an email, but being very excited when I got on, which typically if you're not responding to somebody, you're not happy to see them.
I'm the polar opposite.
So, what you're saying is. It, and I think you explained to me last time was the idea of this pendulum. Oh yeah. The pendulum, I call it the pendulum swing. So, it's coming to this, once you get diagnosed with ADHD and not everybody [00:08:00] is the same, it all presents differently.
But it's getting used to this pendulum swing, you know, as an ADHD or the gray zone is pretty boring. And so, in order to be specific. for me, it's like high, high energy or like barefoot hippie, which is also why I just finished my yoga teacher training, you know, three weeks ago. Because it has to swing on both ends in order for me to stay regulated.
There's no central, there's no central. But you do have to be aware that you're capping the downside within that. Because if you guys don't know, one of the things with ADHD, specifically around late diagnosed women, is it does present in a triangle. So, the bottom of the triangle is normally diagnosed or undiagnosed.
Depression and anxiety, so we flip in this diagnosis as women, especially after having kids, it's triggered, the diagnosis tends to be triggered with kids, but really if the doctor has the ability and understanding about the diagnosis to look up, we go up in the triangle and [00:09:00] ADHD isn't overarching.
With its array of 20 comorbidities, but we can get into that another day.
So, for you, once you finally had that, you know, diagnosis that, oh my God, like you can finally see yourself, like how did that change your perspective? And then I would like to assume that you actually would start to be able to look at the world and say, I'm not that I don't fit, but how do I make the fit the world fit to me?
That's right.
Yeah, that was that was a biggest piece. And I'll say to start off that a lot of it and still is. and will always be as a work in progress for me, for supporting my son, for supporting other ADHD families because I am also a parent group facilitator for CADAC, which is an ADHD non for profit.
So, look it up. If you need more support and resources or want to join our group, it is free. But the big thing for me was just getting to a space and place where it's like, I am who I am. [00:10:00] So, how do I build structures and strategies around not only my diagnosis, but how I present in my ADHD? And for me, a lot of that is, I love, like, I love spontaneity.
I am the queen of like, like, taking a right on the side of the road when I should be going straight and also am barely gonna be in time. But the reality is, is without the structure to ground me, stimulating, overexcited spontaneity wears off, because we all know we can't live in that highlight reel, I would be burnt out.
I would be dysregulated. I would be crying in my house. I'd be overwhelmed. And a lot of people as well, if you're ADHD er, you know about the, like, 8pm wallow. So, when the house gets quiet, the kids go to bed maybe you're just sitting on the couch, you start to wallow about how unproductive you are in your day.
And it's not because you're unproductive, it's because there's no proof. Written anywhere that you could visually see that's flagged, [00:11:00] tanked and highlighted in multiple colors to prove that that was a successful day.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I think for today and I think we kind of covered you, but I think I really wanted to dive into, cause the biggest thing about me and what I loved about meeting you was you are this unique.
structure of a human and you don't operate the way, quote, standard societal expectations are. So, kind of what are, what are some, what are some advice or things to be aware of for us non ADHD years and how best to incorporate your energy, your type of focus needs. For hours, like, so for me, I know when I connect with you, I'm like, okay, I don't know where I'm going to actually like, okay, I could, I tried phoning.
She's not answering. Okay, I'll try texting. And I've learned to be comfortable and being insistent and kind of, kind of nosy, you know, like insistent but also on the other end, I've [00:12:00] learned to just accept it as who you are and not judging. And being very, well, that's Liz and, and that's okay.
How can I operate or what do I need to change in order to kind of, you know, incorporate her into my life. So, I think one big thing with ADHD years, which was a huge lesson for me was object impermanence. So, if you are not in front of me, you don't exist. Now, if my family is listening to this, this sucks for my family, specifically my immediate family, because I do have, you know, a sibling and two siblings and a parent who lives out of town.
So, when I show up in those places, I have all the energy, all the joy, I can't believe I can't see you. But, but the minute that I'm in my house and living my world, it's object impermanence. If you are not beside me, I don't. So, the one thing that I would say with supporting and being friends, friendly, doing business with an ADHD er, is just knowing that where they lack in [00:13:00] organization and communication skills when it's not on their time, they will meet up on YOLO and energy.
So, if you know that like, okay, my job is to be insistent. My job is to know it is never me. Like, unless you royally pissed them off or you're a bad human. Which odds are, if you're listening to Crystal's podcast, you are not. You're probably the most incredible human in the world because Crystal only surrounds herself with amazing humans.
But just know that it's never you and it's always them and just because it's them and when they see you, they are full of energy and it doesn't mean that the pendulum swing isn't swinging the opposite way within their life, within their house, within their family, within their job. Because ADHD as a diagnosis is showing up so much more in the world, but the word regulation and supporting regulation and people having their feet on the ground as ADHDers is very new.
And it's not that content's not really out there yet, which is my hope and goal.
Yeah.
So I think in summary, [00:14:00] my take is it's just. A, be insistent be okay with reminding and quote nagging. It's not nagging. No, it's not nagging. If it's important to me, then I'm going to speak up for myself.
Absolutely. And when you see me, you definitely will, you know, see the importance there. So, so that's where I want to end things today. Oh, that was quick. I love it. And I really hope that my intention for today was really, I hope you got a sense of the energy of someone with ADHD, but also that there's, there's, there's joy and magic when you can incorporate that type of diversity of people into your life.
Absolutely. So, thanks. And so next week we are going to be back, and I think we're going to kind of dive in a little bit about organization. Yeah, the unattainable perfection mindset of being organized.
And with that my friend, thank you so much for joining Liz and I as we learned [00:15:00] more about the ADHD brain and how it works.
In the show notes today, I have a link to a dedicated landing page for this series. Each week it will be updated with links and resources mentioned in each episode along with details on how to follow and connect with Liz. As well we have a unique affiliate promotion that you can check out. And I apologize for my lack of voice right now, but hey, stuff still has to get done.
So, regardless of how I sound, the space you take up in the world matters to me but even more importantly, if you need reminding, you matter the most in your own life.
