Pace Your Life
Episode 008
SCRIPT
Welcome to the Plan for Wonder Podcast. I’m Crystal, the talking head, founder, and creator of myLife Planners dot CA.
Two weeks ago, I was in the process of wrapping up too many client projects before closing up shop for a 10-day family vacation. I had all these intentions and plans to pre-record, write, and schedule the myLife podcast and email marketing.
I had written a full script for one episode, and then I began to feel overwhelmed and realized that if I pushed to try and achieve everything, going into this holiday, I would be burned out and not in the best space to spend time with family.
So I took ownership of my time and said no to pushing for subpar client work and my own marketing content and instead to yes for lightening my load. As it was, I wouldn’t be able to fulfil any myLife orders and I wasn’t going to be happy with lack luster designs for my clients.
I was not thrilled about being unable to meet some client deadlines and expectations. But I had to ask myself, how many times have my clients and vendors were unable to make deadlines and I was there to be flexible to their adjusted schedule? So many times. I had to trust that some kind of similar understanding and flexibility was also possible for me.
I have met so many people, mostly women, especially those of colour, who push themselves to be the best and exceed expectations to be valued. I have worked with these beautiful, intelligent humans and it would break my heard on one hand that they couldn’t be kind to themselves. And on the other hand, their personal high achieving example would only make me feel lacking and I would feel bad about not being as perfect as those I was working with. Sure, they would say, I only expect this of myself, but let’s be honest, that internal ego judge they have was also thinking the same thing about those around them.
So if you are one of those high achieving humans, I need you to understand that your actions do impact those around you. The pressure you are putting on yourself is affecting those you interact with every minute of every day. Whether it’s your co-worker, sub-contractor, spouse, and more importantly the children in your life.
What we do in the world will always ripple out - regardless of how much you justify it as a personal choice. Imagine giving yourself the grace to be less than perfect and how that will lift up those around you. In fact, it gives them a chance to step up instead of always feeling like they are falling behind.
I came back to my office feeling anxious, and it didn’t help that I found my vacation experience an overwhelming practice in being surrounded by people 24/7. Between the tin can airplanes, lines of people at every stage of the journey, and limited opportunities for alone time, I was ‘peopled out’.
So, my first week back began slowly with a day to flush through the 700+ emails (500 of them were newsletters filtered into my read later folder) and waiting to hear from clients who were put on hold while I was away.
I was actually quite thrown by how not insane my days were. And in some way I think it was both a nice reprise, but also a hindrance to get back into the groove. My brain wasn’t firing at the best pitch, and battling the time change effects on my sleep schedule was a recipe for sub-par.
The time away gave me some space to reflect on my day-to-day and the various professional and personal projects that demand my creative attention and time. So, I came to an awareness that I say yes to too much. I care about everything in my world, and know that if you want change, you need to be engaged. But I'm not living well when I work at doing it all. I get caught up in the 24/7 grind, always doing so because I have so many balls in the air.
My time away has shown that dropping a lot of balls has not broken the world around me. I expect some projects may not come my way, which tells me those people only add stress to my life experience. And letting go of those opportunities is actually opening doors to new ones that fit my needs.
Call it kismet, but when I returned my copy of Anna Przy’s new book “Keep it up Cutie” was on my doorstep, and it was exactly what I needed at the time. My favourite quote right now is,
“Just because you’re good at doing something doesn’t mean you enjoy doing it. Take a life inventory bestie. Is it really serving you?”
Which brings me to the second big takeaway from my 10-day break from my business, disconnecting. I didn’t pay the exorbitant wifi fee the cruise was offering, so I had no access to social media, emails, or text. And wow - talk about a vacation for my soul. This has me pondering how I can incorporate more of this type of long-term communication breaks on the regular.
If I plan a monthly week of no internet access, I will not only lighten the load on my attention, but I will be able to sit in my work projects and dive deeper and maybe even create better.
I’m writing and recording this show on a Saturday in Calgary, Alberta, Canada and looking out at the view from my window that is the complete opposite of the endless ocean on the cruise ship last week. The snow began yesterday and is still blanketing the world around us. I love the blanket of snow and low clouds. It muffles the sounds of life. Adding quiet to a loud world. And tucked inside I was finally able to sit at my desk and start writing thoughts and ideas. Of which I didn’t know what was going to flow out onto the keyboard.
I hope what I have shared today resonates with you. I do love the phrase, progress over perfection, but I think there is one better: find your own unique pace to walk through your life. Along the way, you will find yourself surrounded by a community of humans who understand you and accept you.
I have my myWeek planner open on my desk next to me. I wrote a note saying, “Where do I start, and when is it ever enough?”
We all need to determine what our “enough” is.
How much sleep is enough?
How much play time and rest time is enough?
How done does a project need to be enough for today?
How many conversations, hugs, and time with loved ones is enough?
How much cleaning is enough?
How much money is enough to keep the bills paid and our bellies full?
The Saturday and Sunday page is starting to get filled with ideas and thoughts about what’s on my mind, clearing space so I can create. Now that I have achieved this podcast episode, I will take little steps and avoid multi-tasking to do one block of work at a time. I’ll choose what room in the house to tidy up, decide when a good time to escape to the movie theatre to watch Dune 2 on the big screen, and then fill in the spaces between move forward on pressing work projects.
So when you find your perfectionism kick in, I think checking in with yourself on what is enough will help to chill the fuck out and remember that you were born to experience the world and you are in control of what life experiences to take on.
And with that, my friend, thank you so much for listening.
The space you take up in the world matters, not just to me, but even more importantly, if you need reminding, you matter the most in your own life.
