Later Never Shows Up

I woke up at 5:00 AM after sleeping with a headache that permeated my dreams. Resigning myself to “I’m awake, may as well start the day,” I walked downstairs into our kitchen in disarray from late-night cooking by two young adults living here at home—the second day in a row. Needless to say, with my head throbbing and my stomach nauseous, it was a sight that just deflated me worse, especially after already calling the same thing out yesterday morning.

Instead of letting sleeping dogs lie and avoiding conflict, I had lost enough patience to give any fucks about how my frustration would make them feel. I recorded a video stating the situation and that the addition of ‘adults’ in the space should not require more work on everyone else, AKA me and my husband. However, their reaction isn’t my focus; it’s the actions they are motivated to take going forward.

The mental load on myself and those around me has only increased with current events and the realization of living in a time when simply putting food on the table costs as much as it did 5 years ago to dine out for a nice meal. The angst and struggle to come to terms with how daily life will be impacted is draining and takes away from doing good. Good for me, for my family, and for the community I live in.

Looking for some perspective and ideas on how to see the light in the darkness, I asked my mushroom tarot card deck, and the answer was a reversed Five of Wands, which provided me with insight to get away from conflict as fast as I can, and that means addressing an issue instead of putting it off for later. It seems ap-pro-pro based on my gut instinct to address our young roomie’s laziness. Regardless of the weight anyone puts on these things, they are random, but in so many ways, life isn’t random; it’s predictable.

So, with this insight, I consider how to engage in the world with a supportive energy when so much angst weighs on my soul.

The answer I have right now is social connection. It’s an action that can quickly be done right away. And as much as curling up in a ball and hiding feels the easy way to avoid it all, it ultimately only worsens tomorrow. Doing what is right is hard; doing the hard things is caring for yourself, the self-care that matters.

As a reminder, I am going to make a poster for the kitchen that says, “There is only now. Later never shows up.”