Prioritize Values

Days are passing by in a blur as I find myself trying and failing to climb out of a hole that both I have created with slippery walls of distraction that keep me from getting a foothold.

I have days where it feels like groundhogs day. Correction, every day this year so far as felt like groundhogs day. The struggle for progress even though I am not striving for perfection while I’m stuck in quicksand made up of indecision, fear, anxiety, and frustration that honestly have NOTHING to do with my client work. The work is good. But the environment of a collapse of a social system, and because I give a shit about the wellbeing of others, is weighing me down.

I find reprieve in the kindness of others, connections with friends, families, and in my various communities I belong to.

I question the ideology of capitalism and the part I play in it because it’s the system we currently have. I wonder about how I can best use my skillsets to support creating a system that doesn’t divide people and allows each person to become their best selves, and one that they self determine.

So yesterday while under the gun trying to work through projects my youngest kid, home during their university reading week had a mission to purge her bedroom. This kid is diagnosed with high anxiety, so while she is struggling as I am trying to push through, what wins? My kid of course. I own the truth that both her wellbeing and the impact her hoarding has on our home is more important, my top priority always. So I step away from my desk not just physically but mentally as well so I can fully be my best self for her.

The cost, an undone list.

I am learning to not identify my value based on what isn’t done on my list. Instead my value is based on what I prioritize.