The Hits Keep Coming

Sabbatical DAY 6

Waking up on a quiet weekend morning to a text from mom saying my cousin passed away yesterday really took away any wind for my sails today.

Tack on the aroma of fire smoke in the air as Canada is on fire, and without the distractions of work, I found myself experiencing grief, an ocular migraine, and an anxiety attack.

I thought all the rest this week would have provided more emotional resilience, but it seems my Bucky is not just low, but leaking and I can’t figure out where the hole is to try and patch it up.

I won’t say I was close with my cousin, but I did grow up with her next door and she was my childhood idol. She was always kind to me, would talk to her younger kid cousin and treat me like a person. Over the years our paths never really crossed except for large family events and I’m thankful that when she called a few months back I told her I loved her. And today as I went through my DMS, she left a comment saying ‘luv u cuz.’ And I broke.

Not sure I’m a fan of this chapter of life losing people I love more frequently. My solace is that I got to love them all.

I’m turning to quiet activities like reading and puzzles but even in the zen space I’m struggling. I am not going to put my head in the sand as human rights are being violated and an actual rebellion is growing. So perhaps what I need more of is connection.